


Two Redheads In Bed, Please

by thesunflowerwithin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Fingering, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Muggle Life, No Twincest, Rimming, Smut, Submissive Harry, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Fred Weasley, Top George Weasley, i was tipsy when I wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-11-13 03:12:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11175798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesunflowerwithin/pseuds/thesunflowerwithin
Summary: Harry is awkward, is the thing.Or, the one where ordering drinks turns into more than just drinks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I went to a pub tonight, got tipsy, and this happened. It is in all of it's raw, unedited glory. I am deeply sorry.

Harry is awkward, is the thing. 

He hates being the first to show up places, never knowing the exact atmosphere of the place he’s about to walk into. He’s new to pubs and bars, and he hates not knowing if he has to go up to the bar and order and then sit, or if he’s going to be seated. 

It’s why he’s stood outside  _ Wheezes _ , trying to get a look inside to gauge how to act. It looks casual - he didn’t expect anything fancy, after all, Hermione just promised him a night downtown in exchange for how hard she had him studying for his exams. 

“Need some help?” 

Harry jerks, nearly tripping over himself until a hand grabs his shoulder and rights him. He looks up and his first thought is  _ freckles _ . It looks as though someone lightly dusted tops of the man’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose with fairy dust. Harry shakes his head a bit and curses inwardly when he feels his cheeks heat. “No, sorry. I’m just waiting for a friend.” 

“Running late?” The man steps back and Harry is able to take him in fully, tall and lanky with a shock of red hair that falls into brown eyes. 

“Yeah, a bit, Exam season, you know how it is,” Harry says awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. 

The man laughs, “Yeah, I graduated college myself two years ago, I’m glad it’s over. Do you want to come in and wait for your friend? You can order your drinks and I’ll get you started with a starter.” 

“Uh, yeah, thanks!” Harry quickly follows and smiles in thanks when he’s seated in a spot where he can see the door easily. 

“I’ll be right back with our menus. My name is George, by the way.” 

“Thank you,” Harry smiles, and tries not to blush when George beams back. 

Harry busies himself by looking around the pub, noticing how everything looks rustic and warm. It feels cozy, and he relaxes just a bit more in his seat. 

Two menus and a drink menu are placed in front of him, and he goes to thank George, but he notices that there’s something different about his face. 

“You’re not George,” is what comes out of his mouth instead, and he immediately wants to grab the words out of the air and shove them back into his mouth, because not-George was  _ laughing.  _ Loudly. At him.

“You’re quite right. How did you know? Not even our own mother can tell us apart sometimes!” 

Harry tries to shrug casually, but it ends up being more of a full-body jerk. “Your eyes are slightly wider than his.” 

Not-George laughs again, throwing his head back and exposing the long expanse of his throat. Harry has to clear his own throat and look away. 

“Georgie and I can usually swap out without anyone noticing. It comes in handing when one of us doesn’t want to work,” not-George winks, “anyway, have a look-over the menu, and one of us will be back to take your order. Nice talking to you, Harry.” He walks - no, he  _ struts _ \- away then, and Harry just blinks, not entirely understanding what happened. 

He does look over the menu though, and has his eyes and stomach set on the baked mac and cheese. He blushes when he realizes what drink he’s going to have to order, but he  _ really  _ doesn’t want a lemonade today, and strawberry flavoured  _ anything  _ is always a good option. He also knows it’s Hermione’s favourite, so when George comes back he takes a deep breath before ordering. 

“And what can I start you off with, you handsome, clever man, you?” 

“Um, I’d like to start with the breadsticks, please, and uh,” he pauses, and he wonders if he might actually combust into flames, “two Redheads in Bed, please.” 

George raises an eyebrow, laughter dancing in his eyes. He scribbles it down in a notebook, before looking over his shoulder. Harry can only watch in horror as George yells across the pub. 

“Oi! Fred! Harry ‘ere wants two redheads in bed. What do you think?” 

Fred comes bounding over, standing beside his twin and grinning down at Harry. “I think it’d be splendid! How could we deny this man what he wants?” 

Harry briefly wonders how many small heart-attacks it would take to kill a man. He’s sure he’s passed the threshold, and yet, here he is, alive and  _ is he being propositioned for a threesome? _

“Uh,” Harry says eloquently. 

George places his hands on Harry’s shoulders and leans down to whisper, “Two redheads in bed, coming right up,” before releasing him and walking off, and Fred brushes a hand down his arm as he follows his twin. 

Hermione walks in then, spotting Harry right away, and Harry has never been more grateful for brown hair before in his life. 

“Hermione!” He grins, waving her over, “How glad I am to see you! Wow, it’s such a nice place here, right? It’s a shame we should go. Right now.” 

“Harry? What are you on about?” 

“I just think that we should, you know, leave. Find somewhere else. Maybe in a different country? You’ve always wanted to go to Ireland.” 

“What  _ are  _ you on about? I like it here, I come here all the time with Ron. They have the best cocktails, you know they have my favourite here. Did you already order?” 

Harry slumps in his seat, defeated. “Yeah, I got us the drinks and breadsticks.” 

Hermione grins and leans forward ever so slightly. “How did ordering the drinks go?” 

Harry splutters, eyes wide. “You  _ knew?  _ Why did you let me embarrass myself like that!” 

Hermione rolls her eyes, “Oh come on, Harry. Of course I know that the twins work here, they  _ are  _ Ron’s brother’s after all.” 

“ _ Those  _ are the twins?” Harry asks, “But they were in Scotland for school!” 

“Yeah, two years ago. You’ve stopped coming around for family dinners since they were on the same day as your dinners with Sirius and Remus, and they started coming around. It’s a shame you’ve never met them, you just haven’t been at the Burrow at the same time.” 

“I can’t believe you,” Harry mutters, but sits up straighter as he catches a glimpse of red hair coming towards their table. He kicks Hermione at her self-satisfied smirk. 

“Breadsticks and two Redheads in Bed,” Fred announces, and then, “Oh hey Hermione! How are you? Is living with Ron still going alright?” 

Harry notices that while Fred is talking to Hermione, he’s inching closer to Harry, until there’s a casual hand at the nape of his neck. Harry can’t help but think that Ireland must be  _ lovely  _ this time of year. 

He’s so caught up in mentally making his travel plans, that he doesn’t realize that Fred is looking at him, and repeating a question, a smirk lifting the corner of his mouth. 

“What would you like to eat, Harry?” 

_ You,  _ is the first thing to go through Harry’s mind at the same time he tries to say “mac and cheese,” so what comes out instead is “yac and cheese”. 

Fred snickers, and Harry wishes he could teleport. He could learn Irish. His mom had red hair, he probably has some Irish in him somewhere. 

“I don’t think we serve that, but I can certainly get you some mac and cheese.” 

Harry tries to glare, but he can’t meet Fred’s eyes. Fred saunters away again, and Hermione gives Harry a significant look. 

“Oh shut up, ‘Mione.” 

“I didn’t say a word.” 

The meal continues like that, each twin coming by and touching Harry, or making innuendos, or catching him staring and raising an eyebrow. 

It’s torture. 

Harry is hard by the end of the meal. 

He’s trying to figure out how to stand up without revealing the situation the twins put him in, before giving up and tugging his shirt down as he stands quickly. He goes to pull out his wallet, but Hermione shoves a receipt towards him with a grin. 

The handwriting is messy - two different handwritings looping together to make one message, with two phone numbers under it.

_ Dinner was on us. Can’t have two redheads in bed without being wined and dined first, right? xx  Gred and Feorge.  _

Harry wonders if Ron was serious about Harry not being allowed to shag any more of his siblings.

He finds he doesn’t really care. 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't realize how weird it would be to write cis gay smut as a person without a dick. I apologize if this is terrible. 
> 
> Also: 
> 
> Italics is Harry   
> Bold is George   
> Underlined is Fred  
> *Hermione*  
> -Ron-

It takes Harry a week to muster up the courage to text Fred and George, and half an hour to stop re-writing the message. 

 

(2:46)  _ hi, it’s Harry!  _

(2:46)  **hi harry!**

(2:46)  hey cutie;)) 

 

Harry pauses. Where does he go from here? He doesn’t think jumping right into talking about the propositioned threesome is considered polite. He fidgets with his thumbs hovering over the keyboard before he gives up and opens a new message with Hermione and Ron. 

 

(2:49)  _ GUYS HELP _

(2:50) *What’s wrong, Harry?* 

(2:50)  _ I TEXTED FRED AND GEORGE BUT NOW IDK WHAT TO DO PLS HELP M E  _

(2:52) -fucking hell, harry. wut did I say about datin my siblings ?- 

(2:52) *Just have a normal conversation, and let them bring it up first, if you’re this nervous.*

(2:52) *Ron, let Harry do as he pleases.* 

(2:53)  _ thanks mione. shove off, ron.  _

 

Harry re-opens his text with the twins. Types out a message before deleting it. Does it again. Should he add a smiley face? Is a smiley face too much since he added an exclamation point before? Why is texting so hard? He sighs before just tapping out something simple, and then sets his phone face down. 

 

(2:55)  _ What’s up?  _

 

He feels bad. He shouldn’t have taken so long to reply. What if they think he’s being rude? He doesn’t want to be rude. What if they’re not interested anymore? He picks up his phone again, anxious to feel it vibrate. 

 

(2:58)  **just wondering what took you so long**

(2:58)  yeah! I thought Georgie here was going to go insane

(2:59)  _ sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude  _

(2:59)  **i guess were just gonna have to teach you a lesson then, huh?**

 

Harry blushes to the roots of his hair, and nearly flings his phone across the room. Okay, so they - or at least George - are still interested. His phone buzzes again. 

(3:00)  dont scare the poor boy off yet george, hes not even here yet ;) 

(3:00)  **my apologies, Harry. We will consensually teach you a lesson. If you consent. Because that is important. Consent is key. So much consent**

(3:02)  _ I- I’d like that? I think?  _

(3:02)  u think? We need a yes or no, little one. 

 

Harry makes a noise in the back of his throat. He doesn’t usually like his size being pointed out, but with how tall the twins are, he can imagine being small and pressed in between the two bigger Weasleys as they have their lips pressed to his skin. 

 

(3:03)  _ yes. so much yes.  _

(3:03)  **good boy. we have an apartment above the restaurant.**

(3:03)  be here for 8. 

(3:04)  _ of course.  _

 

Harry has four and a half hours until he needs to leave. He texts Hermione. 

 

(3:06)  _ ‘Mione. I have 4 ½ hours until I need to leave. What do I do to get ready besides the obvious? _

(3:08) *What happened to super-confident Harry Potter? Mr. ‘I’m gonna bed Ginny, give me 15 minutes and a shot’ Potter.* 

(3:08)  _ we were at a bar!! and this is different!! gin is pretty but have you ~seen~ the twins?  _

(3:09) *I’m engaged to Ron, I’m very well-versed when it comes to the Weasley genes.

(3:10)  _ that’s gross, mione. Ron doesn’t look anything like the twins. Now please help me.  _

(3:12) *You’re unbelievable, Harry. Pack an overnight bag, you know they’re not the kind to kick you out after. Other than that, do whatever makes you feel good about yourself.* 

(3:13)  _ I kind of want to shave my legs, but Draco said… _

(3:13) *Draco Malfoy is a slimy git and I didn’t punch him in the face for nothing. Shave if you want to, whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Wear women’s underwear if you need to, Jesus. Go get ready and come back when you’re freaking out about clothes.* 

(3:14)  _ yes mum ;*  _

(3:15) *finger guns*

 

Harry shaves his legs and under his arms, and just about everywhere else that isn’t his face. It makes him feel a little bit sexier, and he can’t wait to see the look on the twins’ faces. He switches his glasses for his contacts, and makes sure that his hair is a bit messier than normal. 

 

He shows up at 8pm on the dot, and knocks confidently. He’s so excited his hands shake a bit. He hears shuffling and then muttered voices before the door is swung open. 

 

No one is there. 

 

Harry peeks his head through the door and smiles when he sees flower petals and tealight candles. They really pull out all the stops, don’t they? 

 

He follows the trail to the back of the apartment, where he sees a small glow from underneath a door. He gently pushes it open, and takes a sharp inhale of breath. The twins are sat on the end of the bed, shirtless, smirks on their faces. 

 

“Hello, Harry,” George says, standing up and walking over to the smaller boy. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

“Nervous?” Fred asks, his smirk turning into a soft smile. Harry nods. 

 

“It’s alright, we’re not going to hurt you. Promise.” George’s eyes are soft, and it makes Harry’s chest warm. George leans down and kisses him then, and Harry melts into it, winding his arms around George’s neck and opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. 

 

They break apart when Harry feels light headed, and he makes his way over to Fred, settling in his lap and nuzzling his neck, pressing soft kisses. 

 

“Well, don’t you warm up fast?” Fred chuckles, slipping his hands under Harry’s shirt and stroking the soft skin of his hips with his thumbs. 

 

Harry lightly bites down on Fred’s neck, who moans softly and grabs Harry’s hips, squeezing once. He lets go for a minute, smirking at Harry’s whine, and drags Harry’s shirt over his head. 

 

There’s a moment where Harry is just sitting in Fred’s lap, mind reeling, before George is pressed against his back, trailing his hands down his sides and kissing his neck. Fred gently rakes his nails down Harry’s chest and catches on a nipple, making his breath hitch. Fred’s hands continue downward, brushing against the waistband of Harry’s jeans. 

 

“This alright, Harry?” He asks, thumbing the button. Harry nods, and Fred undoes the button and zipper. 

 

Harry stands so he can get them off, and leans back into George, giving him a kiss. He tugs at the ginger’s jeans until George gets the message and tugs them off, kicking them off to the side. Harry pulls away and turns to look George up and down, biting his lip. 

 

“Fucking hell, you two are hot,” he breathes, moving so that he can see both twins at once. Fred’s jeans have disappeared as well, and Harry can’t help but reaching out and maneuvering himself so he can palm both of them through their boxers. “This okay?” 

 

The twins moan and nod. “Jesus Christ, Harry,” Fred groans, grabbing at Harry’s arm and pulling the younger boy onto the bed with him, George following close behind. 

 

Harry jolts when there’s a hand on his cock, whimpering and pressing into the touch. 

 

“Boxers. Gone now, please,” He pleads, shifting his hips and kissing whoever’s closest, “ _ please _ .” 

 

“Of course, Harry,” the twins say in unison. It should be creepy, but it just makes Harry more eager to get all of them naked. He disentangles himself from Fred and George, watching eagerly as they’re finally, finally naked. 

 

“Your turn now, Harry,” George says, but Harry’s too far gone to register it fully. The two men in front of him are gorgeous, and Harry licks his lips. He can’t decide what he wants to do first. 

 

He’s only brought out of his daze by the sharp sting of the elastic band around his boxers snapping back against his skin. He moans softly, and makes eye contact with Fred, who has a devious smile on his face. “Off, little one,” he says, and Harry can’t scramble any faster to get them off. 

 

He has a quick thought, and then he’s kneeling on the bed, his back straight and his palms face-up on his thighs. His cock is hard and curved up against his stomach. His head is bent and his eyes are locked on the duvet. The perfect picture of submission. He can  _ see  _ the moment Fred and George realize what he’s doing, and he fights to keep the smile off his face. 

 

“Well look at this, Fred,” George says, “Look at our little Harry.” 

 

Harry moans softly, raising his head and looking at them, eyes wide. “Please?” 

 

There’s two seconds where no one moves, but then Harry is being pressed back into the bed as two pairs of hands cover his body, stroking his cock and pinching his nipples, roaming over his sides and front, kissing his neck and chest. Harry basks in the attention, stroking whatever bit of the twins’ skin he can reach. 

 

Harry’s flipped over and put onto his hands and knees, and he feels one of the twins pushing his legs further apart. He stretches to see who’s in front of him, and he sees George smiling down at him. “Safeword is quidditch. If you can’t talk, tap my hip four times.” 

 

Harry tries to get out an affirmative, but all he can do is give a jerky nod before he’s scrambling at the sheets, crying out. “F-fred!” Harry squirms, the sensation of a wet swipe across his hole catching him off guard. 

 

Fred just pinches the back of his thigh before repeating the action, and Harry unabashedly pushes his ass back into Fred’s face, who chuckles before pointing his tongue and pushing the tip inside of Harry. 

 

Harry lets his mouth hang open, and George seizes the opportunity to guide his cock into Harry’s mouth, who is eager to start bobbing his head and swirl his tongue. He tries to take a hand off the bed to stroke his own cock, which nearly aches, but he almost topples over and groans in frustration, which makes George groan because of the vibrations around his cock.

 

Harry hears the  _ snick  _ of a cap, and then Fred is slipping in a finger next to his tongue, and Harry startles enough that he topples forward, accidentally taking George’s cock to the back of his throat and frantically breathing through his nose so he doesn’t choke. George looks at him with something that closely resembles awe, and Harry can’t help but flush down to his chest. He swallows around George before pulling off and going back down. He takes pride in how George’s hips twitch. 

 

Fred adds another finger, and Harry leaks onto the duvet. He’s so close to snapping at Fred to  _ just do it already you stupid ginger git _ , but then Fred hits his prostate and Harry has to pull off George completely as he lets out a loud whine and scrabbles at George's chest. 

 

“Please,” he asks again, spreading his legs wider and nuzzling against George as Fred massages his spot, “puh-lease.” 

 

“ How could we deny this man what he wants?” George says, running a hand through Harry’s hair. 

 

“I think that’d be splendid,” Fred says, withdrawing his fingers and lining up. “Do you, Harry?” 

 

Harry can’t do more put push back and make a strangled noise when the head of Fred’s cock slides into him, making Fred make a low noise as well. It burns, but Harry kind of loves it. He moves so that he can take George’s cock into his mouth again as he pushes back on Fred’s dick, hoping that he’ll get the message and  _ move _ .  He does, and Harry thinks he probably won’t last more than three solid thrusts before he comes untouched. 

 

Fred thrusts slowly, as though he’s cataloguing how each movement makes Harry react. It’s not quite enough, but Harry doesn’t want to take his mouth off George to let Fred know that. Instead, he starts pushing himself back and forth, taking George’s cock down his throat and fucking himself back on Fred’s, gaining speed. He’s  _ so close _ , if he could just get Fred to hit that spot - and then there’s a hand around his dick and three pumps of his cock later he has to clench his eyes shut, the intensity of his orgasm taking him off guard. 

 

George thrusts sloppily into Harry’s mouth before pulling out and tugging himself harshly, coming on Harry’s face, who then slumps and nuzzles into the bigger man again. 

 

Fred digs his fingers into Harry’s hips and pounds into him almost viciously, making Harry whimper against George’s stomach. It’s pleasure-pain, but he knows that he won’t be able to come again. Fred thrusts one more time before stilling, leaning forward and panting against the back of Harry’s neck. 

 

They stay like that for a moment, in different states of breathlessness. Fred’s the first to pull away, gently pulling out of Harry and tying off the condom before tossing it in the bin beside the bed. He leans over and grabs a damp washcloth, gently cleaning the lube away from Harry, before tossing it at his twin so George can wipe Harry’s face. Both twins mutter praises into Harry’s skin, running their fingers through his  hair and massaging his sides. 

 

They somehow manage to get under the duvet, both curled around Harry, who can’t keep the small, tired smile off his face. 

 

“Thank you,” he murmurs, snuggling into his boys and the sheets. 

 

“Anything for you,” George says, kissing the top of Harry’s head. 

 

“Anything for our little one,” Fred agrees. 

 

Harry is awkward, is the thing, but if it lands him guys like Fred and George, he’s not quite sure he minds. 

  
  
  



End file.
